A happy day :D

I'm a happy girl today :D
O'level mother tongue paper is just tomorrow. My strongest subject among all. Pray hard that it will not be difficult. I want to get the grade i'm targetting for. I don't want to re-take, i don't want to waste time. Good luck to all tomorrow.

Got to know that besides the new circle line. There will be four other lines under planning. I find it very convenient. There's one new line called something coast. This line is now under planning. Probably after the circle line. Can travel from Woodlands to punggol to pasir ris to changi airport. So much convenient. However, it will take years to build as well.

YES YES! My Luo Zhi Xiang will be in Singapore next Sunday for the true hearts charity show. @ Toa Payoh HDB hub! i want go ~ -.-
I really need a new pair of sandals.

4 direction, which one suits me?

First of all, Happy Birthday Fazlina :D

Angelia ask me to update. So .. anyway, my eyes are shutting down soon.
Two weeks for intensive has finally ended. Ms foo left a message early in the morning at our class whiteboard. Went back to school this morning. Mr Goh gave us one kinder bueno :D Skip breakfast and lunch then maggi mee for dinner.
Wanted to read up some chinese compostion but my mind are thinking of some unnecessary things D:
Good thing is practical exam has postponed to the 2nd week of holiday, on the 9th June. But F&N students have to go back to school on the 3rd week while others no need. Damn no life!
@%^%@#$%&*^

okay. I've got no idea what to update. Maybe update a thorough one next time. My back are aching and my eyes are really going to shut.

If i could, i would ..

AHHHHHHH! fucking GASTRIC PAIN! I cannot take the pain.

Two weeks passed so fast. Tomorrow will be the last day of intensive. Half day infact. We'll have to go back to class for cleaning and taking of report book. I think i should laugh at myself when looking at my lousy results. Anyway, teacher very good! He bought us one chicken essence each (:

I wonder if i can make it for Monday's Paper. I haven't memorise the format yet. After paper, the next time i'm gonna worry is F&N practical exam. I haven't start practising the dishes. I don't even know how to cook. I don't even know how the dish is gonna look like. I haven't even do my time plan. So many things not ready yet. And that teacher refused to postpone the practical exam day. She also say we cannot claim money for the ingredients from the school. Which is like, the school has always been paying for that. I'm sure i will do badly for practical. It's gonna turn out another S.H.I.T!
My brother is asking me which ITE i want to go after O'level. Asshole! -.-

And all SBS bus driver has changed their uniform to red long sleeve. Omg! look kind of weird. I noticed something. Whenever i take bus 900 to interchange, i either see the bus leaving or must chase bus. Is not one or two time, but everytime! So sickening.
okay. My gastric hurts badly. I need panadol ..

:D

I LOVE PANDA BISCUIT.
I LOVE POCKY.
I LOVE MARIGOLD HL MILK.
I LOVE RIBENA.
I LOVE STRAWBERRY.
I LOVE KIT KAT.
I LOVE KINDER BUENO.
& I LOVE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

YESSAH. HOLIDAY IS ARRIVING :D can sleeppppppp longerrrrrrr

sometimes you didn't notice that the words are hurtful.

Tired

So, my leg is in great pain D: Why? Cause i stayed at air-con room for too long. From after recess all the way till 5pm (excluding a 45 mintues break). Library is freaking cold. Now, arm started to pain. Asked mummy to massage leg and arm for me last night before i turned in. It's freaking pain. God damn thing! I found a blue black on my leg when i never knock onto anything. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. PHANIE WANT MASSAGE-GI :(
O'level mother tongue is 6days away. I must say that i ... scared. Hah

Yes! I must say this. Angelia and I were doing the biometric thing. But the device cannot accept Angelia's finger. Only accept her thumb. This is weird. So Miss Chee say she's not a human. She's the special one leyyyyyyy :)
Yessah! A good news. Tomorrow intensive end at 145 again. Teacher got meeting. Wooooooo~

does anyone have a better solution for the following problem?

D:

Today's weather is really humid. Effing hot to the maximum. Moodswing~ Sweating all over and I have to bath so many times a day! -.-
Currently not feeling well. Leg and arm pain, heart beat faster than usual, breathing difficulties, and vomit again! i didn't skip meals, perhaps because of the weather. I want to fall sick so that i wouldn't need to attend school. Naive mindset
Teacher have meeting so intensive end at 145pm today. Cool or what? Awesome shit :D How great if he have meeting everyday. Angie baby got dental appointment, so she came only 5minutes before break.
Left two Chinese question undone. My arm is in a great pain D: Done with ranting. I need to do some exercise now to burn fats.

I want June holidayyyyyyy to arrive fast!

I want O'level to end fasttttttt!

I want to go for my holidayyyyyyy!

I want to enjoyyyyyyy!

So sickening.

how to i survive?

A random picture :)

So shag now! D:

It's becoming more and more uncomfortable.

I can't put myself at ease.

time

time wait for no one.
If time could turn back,
when will i want it to turn back to ?..

why must time fly so fast?

why it couldn't stop at the happy time but to keep on moving?

while, this is life.

the reason people grow up and old.

everthing

Happy birthday Sinle :) get well soon.

atrocious result gonna shown in my MYE report card. Gonna work very hard for prelims. Though i didn't do well, but is improving already. Even if fail also considered borderline fail, except Science. Physics really pull down alot of marks ): Yes! i made it for coursework :)

I wouldn't have Finna to high with me during lesson. When i turn back, i can't see Yana. Without this two girls in class, it make a difference.

changing ..

Mother tongue intensive

people say we looked alike (?)
Talked to Angelia during our 1hour break yesterday. We have got so much things to talk. So many 'hot' topic to talk each time. Ya, something i really find it shocked and i'm sure you know what i'm referring to :) At least i finally told you all those things. But even if i never tell you, i'm sure you know it too. If geraldine is in our class, you can entertain me already. Lol.

And yes! Tomorrow is lesbian's birthday. woohoo. But seriously, i've got no time to get your present. Has been really busy lately.

Mother tongue intensive started yesterday. basically, this two week will be having only chinese lesson, from morning 8am all the way to 5pm. keep on doing other schools MYE paper, really can kill me. Some time really wanted to fall asleep but still pay attention. Unlike Angelia, kept on playing Sudoku. i think i should confiscate your phone. Haha (: Really focused on doing the paper which is a good thing, so that i won't think of other unhappy thing.
I agreed both of us are very noisy. We kept talking in class and made so much noise. laugh at the teacher. But of course, we're controlling our laughter as teacher is standing right in front of us talking. 7 more days to go. Phanie must hang on there! I just hope that i could do well for 1 june O'level paper tongue paper. So that i will not need to re-take and waste my time for afternoon coach programme in term 3 :)

Feel so restless everyday ..

agony in my heart

who can tell me

why happy moments is always short-lived,

while the anguish will always stay in one heart?

who can take away my agony?

what's going on now?

what had happened to me?

where has my hope gone to?

Suffering in great pain.

anguish over the loss of a loved one.

FUCK

horrendous and atrocious result.
Flunk all subjects except Chinese, with a C5 only. Imagine I flunked paper 1! This must be joke. Teacher help me check for my composition writing. She and myself think that i didn't write out of the question. Well, i still don't think the marker will change any marks or something. Got a pass for geography. Combined humanities still fail.
Got back emath paper 2. nearly bang the wall! so many careless mistakes, otherwise i'll get a pass. Forget it since it's already done.

All parents will be call down to school.
Alright! i'm done.

undesire results

I won't forget, neither will i remember.

Mid Year is really badly done. Physics totally a lousy one. didn't expect to fail MCQ. Though i got a pass for chemistry, still gonna pull my science grade down. English, little did i expect to flunk that badly. Not hoping to get even a pass after all the combination of CA marks. If i were to get this grade for O'level, i will kill myself.
Tomorrow gonna take back humanities. i just hope to get a pass on it .__.
And fuck! I forget to look for Mrs Chan to take oral. I don't want to take tomorrow after school! Ass one. Someone please kill me ):

Doing F&N now. Wanted to finish by tomorrow afternoon, so that i will not have to go for the extra 3hours lesson. I tell you, that 3hours will be a painful one.

All by myself.

Decided not to update for this moment. But but but, maybe today will be the last update then i will stop. update depending on my mood ..
On Monday, I caught this movie 'Jangar Tegur', with angelia and finna. Had lunch cum dinner at KFC.

Ordered Mcdonald delivery to school this morning for breakfast. Poor F&N students, like me. Have to return to school for F&N while others should be enjoying outside. Caught 'Horsemen' with angelia and Yana. Had burger king for lunch cum dinner.
Then i have this news that Mdm Salimah told May, she's the only one who passed English Paper 2. Kills me. I know i did badly for Mid Year. Can I don't to attend school tomorrow? I don't want to get back the papers.
My brother just bought a Stage jacket! oh my fucking god! He told me there's only red and blue in colour. So my reaction is, reddddddd. oh my tian!!

I guess i've put on weight. Have been eating fast food three days straight. Kinda sick of fast food already. Headache now ..

problem aroused

Something is really bothering me.

Can someone get me out of here?

No one understand me.

Something heavy is above me.

Your's truly is tired.

Your's truly needs a break.

Far beyond hope. Far far away ..

---

Guess what?
Auntie Carol called me. Haha. So surprising!
My phone is in silent mode, but i saw my phone blinking. I thought it's a message but no it's a private call. When i answered, she called miao miao. So funny
Angelia and I were still talking about insead last night.

drifting apart, again

Woke up by mummy's call. Otherwise i can sleep longer. Still headache now. Ate a panadol but it get worst. Stomach is empty. Someone, please save me! Feel like banging my head against the wall! My back and shoulder hurts. F***

Not feeling well last night. Head is spinning and vomited. Turned in much earlier than usual. I've been turning in lately due to exam period. Either revising or can't bring myself into bed. The night before yesterday, i really have a hard time sleeping. I didn't have any afternoon nap yet i feel very awake. Though i know my mentally is tired, but i just can't sleep. Headache until it seem to explode. Trying to close my eyes without thinking of other things. However, i still don't understand what I'm thinking about actually. No choice but to take 'that tablet'. I relying too much on that whenever i can't get into bed.

Yesterday, when i was packing my bag. As my mind only tells me that today is chemistry paper. I took out mathematic instrument. In the end, never bring. Realised it only on the way to school. Got Angelia to borrow from teacher. And i forget to return -.-
both paper is manageable. Didn't complete math paper. As for chemistry, it's the only paper i think i put hope into it.
Received calls when i got home. rest awhile before heading to Finna's house. Watch a malay horror movie. Her mother cooked lunch for us. Thank you auntie. Felt really restless after the movie. To vista park. Talked, laughed, played. I want to swing high in order to bring my misery away.
We were talking about the chemistry paper and F&N. I totally forgotten about coursework submission tonight. Haven even get starting.
Yana, thank for the strawberry milk. (: Strawberry is loved!

hate it, love it.

Just got back home not long ago. Had lunch with Finna and Angelia baby at food horizon. Then to starbuck to chill and talk. Talk alot .. Suddenly i saw this thing happening. My reaction was very shock! Civic centre Mcdonald's door spoilt. totally hilarious. wanted to capture the scene but too far. Back to causeway point to buy hair band.

Wanted to study at Starbuck. Drinking coffee, enjoying the air-con. Feel so great ya!
Angelia, before the invigilator say you may begin. I'll look up, you make me laugh okay. Lol.

one year ago ..

What had happened one year ago?

There you'll be

Math paper two is still somehow manageable for Section A. When it comes to Section B, gone case .. None of the three questions i can attempt to it. After the paper, most of the people find Section B very difficult. Haha. Left some blanks also. I thought 2 hour 30 mintues is long, but actually is not.
Almost fall asleep for Physics paper. I swear it's difficult for me .__. almost wanted to give up. Left blanks for many questions. Counted 17marks has gone. Anyway, Nasruddin's phone alarm rang suddenly. It's hilarious. I just burst out laughing. Finna laughed at me when i drink water as the water kept dripping -.- She's a bad girl ..
The weather is killing me right now. Headache! Gonna work hard for Tomorrow's Math paper 1 and chemistry in order to pull back the marks. Math paper 1 should be easier, i suppose.

Anyway, i got my spectacles on that day i broke it itself. From red become black, then now is brown (:

suck it in

SUCK BIG TIME. SUCK IT IN!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Currently not in the mood for everything. Somebody just totally spoilt my mood .. Or should i say my emotion are taking over me?
Tomorrow Math paper 2 and Physics paper. I don't think i can handle it.
Headache now .. I need sleeping pill. Sure will have problem sleeping tonight. I can't well these few nights. Seem like waiting for something. I don't know. I don't even know what the hack I'm feeling right now.
Tomorrow's paper sure will kill me. I think i will fall asleep. I totally give up. The procedure when taking exam is totally suck.

I hate exam. I hate school. I hate the present. I hate the past. I hate everything that is happening around me now. I hate you. I hate loving someone. I hate being love. I hate the reality. I hate the fact. I hate myself. I hate this world.
This world is filled with unfairness .. It's getting harder, it's getting difficult. My dream are drifting further from me. What's going on right now?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot take it. I can't handle it.
I'm lousy. I'm lousy! I'm not good in everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop it

Yes, it's you.

One need freedom.

Don't be too selfish, thinking only about yourself.

Try putting yourself into other's people shoe.

You're just making things difficult for people.

If you can, why can't I?

Please, stop it!

Damn it

Feeling so angry right now! Anyway, it's my uncle birthday.

Firstly, Mother tongue paper not very easy. Hope that i can get a better grades and get into the same banding as Angelia. Another bomb one answer out, in the end when we discussed answer, it's almost the same. Totally bullshit one

Secondly, I saw that pervent guy again! This time round, he was targetting another secondary school girl at the opposite block of mine. From what i've saw, the girl behaved normally. Then i kept looking at that guy. Guessed what? I think he saw me. he hid and ran away. I think he's friendless. With this kind of attitude, how he's going to survive in his school when he is only a lower secondary student. Nothing better to do.

Thirdly, my spectacles broke again ): My favourite spectacles, Red in colour one. This time round I'm not going to refix it again. It's a total waste of my time and money. Last time i broke, i waiting for three weeks to get them to fix my spectacles. i guessed i just have to make a new pair of spectacles. Plastic one instead of metal please. Red spectacles again please. And i realised it broke at the same place. Is it the metal is too fragile? Hope mummy will not rant at me .. Maybe i used too much force handling this spectacles.

I just can't get through ..
where are you now?

mistaken identity

Love is blind. There is no right or wrong.

But we need affinity in order to stay together.

Suami ku

Jealousy

By right, i should be revising for tomorrow's paper instead of blogging.
My mood isn't right. i know i will be thinking of other problem instead of studying. I had a nightmare. I hope it isn't real, although it seem to be so real. Everytime has this kind of dream. Which mean something is going to happen soon .. The dream doesn't put my mind at ease.
I should prepare some snacks and milo or tea but not coffee, to burn midnight oil.

I'm going for a hair cut later, just to trim my fringe. It's growing longer and getting irritating (:

如果有机会给你从新选择，

你会怎样做？

是否会和我想像中一样？

期望越大，失望更大。

而我 只能带着平常心，

去等待结果。

A new month

Another month had passed. Things keep on changing, so i hope at the month of May, it will be better.
I've slept for about 16hours! sleep through the whole afternoon. sure cannot sleep tonight
alil headache now. shoulder ache.

Don't know what's wrong with me now. feel like going out for a walk, as well as to give myself a break. Ever since the break down last night, I feel that i'm not myself. I don't know what's the reason behind me, that making me become like this .. I don't know what's my goal and what i want exactly as i know, it's impossible. Things are moving at a very slow pace. Somehow i feel like bursting everything out at one time. I'm tired of the history. What am i fighting for?

Your love embrace me.
aku cinta kau.