the love we endure

Infact i was only deceiving myself this few days. i thought i have slowly let go, not to think of those memories, but i was only lying to myself. This isn't the way i want it to end. It could have be better. i thought i am telling myself that what's not mine is not mine, it's time to let go since the outcome has turned out this way. But, I couldn't. Sometimes im still missing it. The picture has captured and stored inside my brain. i was scared and afraid of letting it go. A small silly mistake has destroyed everything.
How great if i have someone right beside me now, letting me their shoulder. The pain is stuck right inside my heart. I swear it is suck )':

F&N is killing me.

Okay. I'm so stuck stuck stuck in coursework! Tomorrow there's a test about digestion system, a very difficult topic. I haven study yet. Having a hard time doing the coursework. Really have the urge to drop this subject.
So pissed now !%$#$%^&* headache again.
i'm not going to care for coursework for the time being. gonna touch up again as soon as possible.
i'm to bed now. gonna give my brain to rest, otherwise my brain will not be functioning =x
AHHHHHHHHH. The pain is killing me now. Panadol please~

one last try

看的见却捉不住。

Yesterday, went down to yishun columbarium to pray to grandma and grandpa. The weather is effing hot. i cannot take it! keep finding shades to hide. The garbage trunk caught fire as the weather is too hot. Air pollution luhhhhhhhh -.- plastic smell so strong. Aftermath, bought ice cream. then daddy drove us to Northpoint. had lunch Ishi Mura. had a few spoon of noodles as i don't really have the appetite for food. Probably the ice cream made me too full. walked around. Mummy finally changed to Ice Cream phone. Hiakhiak. i'm gonna change with her. =p
bought Chewy Junior, contact lenses and solution. then headed to grandmama house.

Today, no coach as Ms yati wasn't around :D April is just coming in two days time. how time flies .. flies ..
2.4km run during PE. A good one! i've a slight improved as compared to the first trail run (: though it is not a very fast timing, however i am satisfied already. It's the faster timing i ever run before. did practice paper for Physics. I find it hard LA!
I guessed tomorrow will get another scolding from Mdm Paramjit. there are only 5 human beings sent their coursework to teacher. Pathetic -.-! 5 people. I'm not one of them definitely. I'm so stuck, stuck, stuck in coursework!!!! Ate a headache pill this morning but the pain doesn't go off ):
Okay, i'm done. Gonna do my coursework only tonight (:

Will you be here taking me of me?

just took my medicine. Still vomited -.- my throat now is like super hot! my head is like a bomb to me now, will burst anytime. Pain until i feel like banging the wall ... ):
don't feel like going to school today. i just pull myself out from my bed as i don't want to miss any lesson, especially math. feel so drowsy after taking the medicine before i left for school. i almost fall asleep in all the lesson before recess. i lied down on the table many times.
Headed to Finna's house after school. Watched cartoon network and a so called 'rest' a while. Not in the mood and was quite worried about something. Back to school for NAPFA.

okay going to take a rest now. stupid headache is killing me.
i should tell myself not to think of other things. things doesn't go smoothly for me ):

Another 12 days

Was absent from school today. went to polyclinic alone to seek doctor. Got two medicine
I think my old ill came back to me. Skipped meal and now, vomiting and nauseous came back. Don't have any appetite for food recently. Feel weak now after vomited for several times. My stomach hurts too. I just don't like to take in any medicine. Like forever a patient but no one is taking care of me.

Mdm Azah called me just now. ask why i didn't attend school and told me not to be stupid again, it's very obvious. Well, it hurts me too. it's still bleeding and in pain )': got to know from her a very sad news. The uncle who used to come in our class to empty the rubbish bin has passed away. 5N2 used to keep say hello and bye bye to him. The uncle very cute and kind. He died because of diarrhoea.
Gave finna a call after which. Pretty sad luh! she told me there's alot of F&N coursework from ten year series file. OMG!

Another life has taken away by god. Life is very precious. Cherish your life and loved ones around you before they leave you. We will never know when will they leave.

It's my life

I need time to heal my wound.
My love for you remained unchanged.
Will there be a 'forever'?

):

IF ...

It's raining cats and dogs outside now, thunder and lightning. i scared ):
Pizza after school. Mr Justin treat us. (: each person can have two slice. but i only ate one as there is not enough. someone eat more luh. Skipped coach today. Wahaha!

i really miss you .. ):

---

一定是我不够好 所以你才想要逃

逃到天涯和海角 躲在别人的怀抱

你能不能不管过得好不好

不要故意躲开不让我知道

只要你过得很好 什么都已不重要

我不会故意打扰 更不会让你烦恼

我每一夜不管你知不知道

傻傻流着眼泪默默的祈祷

lies and deceptions

I hate you for who you are. I hate you for all the lies you've made.
You're a cheater. Also a BIG FAT LIAR!
No matter what went wrong, my love for you will never change.
/

slept at 2am and i woke up at 6am myself without alarm. I just feel so energetic. Was caught because of sock during morning attire checked. I started feeling restless when it comes to English. After English, i was back to energetic.
My mood wasn't very good. Still got scolded twice today. First in the morning, the very first period of the day. Mdm Paramjit scolded everyone during F&N. Second during choir, which is the end of the day. Miss Judith was effing angry. Seriously, this is the first time i saw her so angry. She's upset and disappointed. What she say is right. Choir used to be discipline.

NAPFA Test this coming friday. Sports day next friday :D

对不起，I'm sorry.

Oh ya! I saw rainbow on Saturday evening. it has been ages since i last saw rainbow.
AWESOME!
Also, gonna have new neighbour. A young couple, they came from Myanmar.
they will be moving in next week (:

First day of Term 2 : HELLLLLLLLLLL to me (:
felt extremely tired after PE. did alot of running, climbing of staircase and jumping. The weather is unbearable! effing hot! Fall asleep during English coach. Finally, I've finished oral presentation.
For me, it didn't start my day well. Eventually, my day wouldn't end off well. School is pretty boring for me. I'm gonna tolerate with another 7 to 8 months.
Will be having both english and chinese oral in two weeks time. Another 6 more weeks from now will be having Mid-Year exam. How time flies right?

my life will be boring these days.
did you hear my praying? i miss you .. very much.
i want nothing but you.

saddening

16 days

school is reopening tomorrow. Still, i didn't touch on any of the homework given. Don't feel like schooling already. Life is bored. I'm wondering where did i put math worksheet to. Shall die a horrible death (:
Anyway, my girls. Phanie misses you all

i promised to change,
i wanna keep this promise.

I Miss You

life is changing this holiday

life is turning hard nowadays.
Homework still left undone, I guessed i didn't touch any of it. Most stupid is, I've misplaced my chemistry worksheet. Don't really have the mood for anything these few days. Kind of emo. Urghhhhhhh, i don't know.
I don't know what the heck am I doing this one week holiday. Everything didn't went smoothly like how i think it supposed to be. Well, it has almost come to the end of the holiday. So there's nothing much i can do or say. I must say that i hate this holiday man!

i love you

19 days

傻瓜, silly girl.

爱诺让你不快乐，让你感到太累

那就别再爱了。

alone

Breaking up with someone you care about is one of the toughest decisions any of us will ever have to go through.

Dealing with the pain and heart break is never easy.

We just have to live the days as they are set out and not live in the past.

bad mood

how many times must i repeat myself?

just came back from school not long ago. Many people was late for lesson this morning, as a result, lesson was delayed. We had class test around 845am. Lesson started at 9am. I must say that the topic is not easy, which mean difficult laaaaaaaaa. At least i catch the ball (:
Mdm Paramjit was kind, nice and caring enough that she bought breakfast and soya bean drink for each for us. All of us used hand to eat nasi lemak as there is no spoon. I was the last to finish off the food.
So, the whole theory lesson lasted for about 2 hours and 45 minutes. i guessed no one doze off as we were really attentive. This topic is hard and it came out every year for O'level.

love is blind and selfish,
所以不要把自己的快乐，建设在别人痛苦上。

come to the worst of ..

stayed at home whole day. almost completed F&N homework, left with one essay incomplete. edited on my coursework. still left many homeworkkkkkkkkk !!!!!! i saw many packets of kinder bueno in the fridge :D
it's chocolate time now ... ...

i had made arrangements for my one week holiday.
monday - back to school in the morning for F&N extra lesson. 4hours for theory can die dddddddddde
tuesday and thursday - choir practice
wednesday - intend to go the nursery to make survey

changi airport terminal 3, anyone?

BULLSHIT!

what went wrong?

FUCK FUCKING FUCKER!
i'm clear conscience. i did nothing wrong! ASSHOLE. don't talk anything about love. you will be more than happy. i won't believe in anyone else from now onwards.
can i hug you?

i love walking in the rain.

怕

很怕。也不想。但却不能不听
可以说不吗？

Food and Funfair

let's begin this post with yesterday. i left home at about 6pm plus and i went shopping alone (:
i took train alone, walking/shopping alone, had dinner alone. People might that think i am very lonely. well, begin alone isn't a unhappy thing actually. this is the time i can keep myself relax. Also, i do need time and space to breath in. i went into many shops and i caught an attention to some accessories. Like, doraemon biscuit rubber band, bangles.

i had a great night last night :D stayed outside. cabbed to school this morning.
the concert is totally different from what i expect it to be. somehow i find it boring. probably because i am too tired as i turn in at 3am. i was famished, so tired and felt extremely bored! there's nothing else i can do anymore.
Miss Tan came back! she remembered my face but forget my name. she was a part time teacher in chung cheng high ( yishun ).

had dinner at banquet with the girls. went home aftermath

it's getting heavier and heavier.

Report card

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANESSA! (:

went out but came back home again. having irritate eyes! make my mood turn bad.
right eyes turn red ):

i passed only two subjects for common test. i didn't expect to fail combined humanities. i was like how can it be? ._.
L1B4 : 31 points. where the fcuk can i go to if i get this results for O's? gonna work hard to mid year.
flunked that ass english with 26 marks. highest in my class is only 31 marks.

isn't too late to change?

busy doing the decorations. i didn't do much, only help to cut scotch tape.
T-E-A-M-W-O-R-K !
New moon will be release in June. Wahaha. cannot miss it. will be getting our report books back. whole class flunked english! i didn't do well for common test ):

i'm sorry, love

another day

found a blogskin which i quite like it. it's so coooooooooooool ! so readers, open your eyes BIG BIG and see after i have change. OO

hotmail is getting so irritating. load so looooooooooooong haven load finish -.- probably because i have too many unread messages in my inbox. it's 1038 hotmail, so cannot blame.
woke up late this morning so quickly prepared then cabbed to school. Mr Justin came in to our school during contact time to talk about the food and fun fair stuff.
it's gonna be a very super duper busy week. March holiday is so called burnt by CCA and extra lesson .__.

alright. off for now!
wanted to end my post with a cool picture, but cannot! stupid blogger

Show Luo Zhi Xiang

Went to SiMei, East Point Mall for Show's autography session. Damn coooool (: Human jam! more than 5000 human.
Some girls dance the cheng yao correctly can get to hug Show. Oh my tian~ hug so tight can.
took many photos and videos. to be upload next time (:
i must say, he is really success in his career. so many supporters, even aunties are one of them. He is so shuai can~
Show will be coming back to singapore on 18 and 19 april. Woooooooooots!

sigh ):

what's wrong with my right eye? i woke up on wednesday, with stomach cramp.
yesterday, woke up with right eye super swollen! until now, it's still sooooooo swollen like i got beaten by someone?
today, i woke up with left hand finger pain. suckkkkkkkkkkkkkk! everyday got somewhere pain.
so, what's gonna pain tomorrow? shall seeeeeeeeeee.

just completed chinese comprehension not long ago, and F&N worksheet and correction.
left with Emath. stuck in congruence and similarity, areas of similar figures. this is my worst topic. come to this topic, i can't do well.
F&N coursework was somehow stuck also. ):

feeling low.

nothing's gonna change my love for you

If I had to live my life without you near me

The days would all be empty

The nights would seem so long

With you I see forever oh so clearly

I might have been in love before

But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young and we both know

They'll take us where we want to go

Hold me now,touch me now

I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now

How much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

The world may change my whole life through but

Nothing gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy

Our love will lead a way for us

Like a guiding star

I'll be there for you

If you should need me

You don't have to change a thing

I love you just the way you are

So come with me and share the view

I'll help you see forever too

Hold me now,touch me now

I don't want to live without you

another favourite song of mine :D
我们都会唱情歌，但我们都无法把爱说出口。
twooooooo moreeeeee daysssssss (:

Yes! i love today :D but felt sorry for throwing tantrum
a restless day but still put on a smile. having problem when laughing. my stomach hurts alot ):
glad that my leg is not painful due to the rainy days. going to play drum. goodbye (:

i've learnt alot through the journey. i learnt to let go something which does not belonged to me, i leanrt how to take things and let go when its time to. everyone will come to this state, so why not let go? new things are coming ahead. well, i don't see any needs for me to change now.
there's many hypocrite and gossiper around, but i don't care. it's my life, i do things i love and hate. since they are nothing to me, they have no rights to judge me. i just want to be myself, that's it. (:
love yourself before loving others.

安静了

something i must post here.

Miss Ter Sin Le:

once a friend always a friend. the MV above is for you. It is filled with memories, joy & laughters that will never be erased. though there are some misunderstanding in between or something. but i really got to be thankful to you that when i was in a lonesome period. i really need someone beside me, you will be the one of them, giving me courages, making me laugh and erased the unhappiness in me. With this, i'm able to control all my emotional. Remembered that when i was working during the holidays, i will think of you when this song is played. I never hate you but i don't know how to describe the feeling i have. well, i don't really care about what the others will say or gossip when they read this, because this is a matter between you and me. So i care only you. The others will not know what am i thinking about, how i feel. Only i do. Since it's over, then let it be.
i must say that this year is a crucial year for all of us, study hard.

Your sincerely

/-

this is one of my super favourite song! i need a shoulder to rely on.

March began

though seating arrangement has changed, angelia came to sit beside me. we were talking non-stop! didn't concentrate in most of the subjects. ANGELIA! i can't believe it .. this is so shocked! and .. funny (:
i can't stop laughing. just want to tell you that you must think twice. don't think of those negative, think of the positive. maybe we have think too far and maybe it's not what we think. we can't read people's mind. everything is fated. don't rush. gua gua 00

* no show's video for this post. stop for one day, otherwise angelia want say me crazy .. maybe tomorrow (:

CIP was postponed as christ church was collecting the newspaper this thursday. probably postpone to April
many things left imcomplete. F&N test 1 correction & worksheet, English oral presentation script. what else ..
Food and fair fun ticket. well, i'm so looking forward for food and fun fair :D
GCE O'level english paper fall on 26october. that's pretty fast, 7months left.
2 months and 29 days to mother tongue paper? ):


Angelia's 00, Mine 74 (:
loved